OH NO NOT AGAIN

Goodness me, time is not on my side, no it isn't.

It has been far too long without a post here, I blame that on life's variable nature. Not that it matters you understand, I doubt anyone is reading this anyway. Just as well because I really am not someone who writes to be read, but because I must. I have a four day weekend coming up, and I will probably wind up frittering it away with various forms of entertainment to take my mind of those things that would suck on my soul and eat my brain. Zombies of the id are everywhere, waiting to attack and leave you a hollow shell, a shadow of a shadow.

Oh yeah, that time thing...I have a birthday coming up in exactly six weeks. I always get a trifle morbid as my birthday approaches. Tick...tock...tick...tock...with each passing day thoughts of mortality and decrepitude suck the joy out of normal activities, so that it takes more and more to feel real, to feel normal. But then...I do have my annual vacation which I always take as close to my birthday as possible. I haven't worked on my birthday in so long, I have forgotten the last time it happened, a lifetime ago (that's the way it seems sometimes). The real insanity is that while I am on vacation I worry that I will have no job when I return to work. Not paranoia...really...it actually happened to me once and since then, the phantoms of the past eat at the edges of perception and try to frag me down. I have resolved not to let them win this year, and I hope that like most resolutions, this one does not go the way of thousands of broken promises to myself and to others.

Please take a seat and...

Okay, having started this I feel compelled to do something with it, yet one more thing to fritter away precious time on. By way of introduction, there are phantoms of all sorts haunting my synaptic pathways. Shadows reflected by the past, cast by the future, and hiding in dreams. They are creatures made of things that have been, things that might be, and things that never were. Their reality is variable, as phantoms are want to be. I do not know how often or how creative this might become, again it is a matter of time, energy and commitment. The older I get the more things I have to consume the available time.

I am explorer on the edge of memory, on the edge of identity, on the edge....

So here I am, and there you are, and I now have something meager to populate this page. Not very ambitious, to be sure, but then there is that old rascal time taunting me with the promise of more, while snatching it away even as I get excited over the prospect. May time be kinder to you than she has been to me.